"You Got Your Own Life," Said Littl'un

It was an emotional morning at the food ministry today.

It seems the two people in charge always find new ways to belittle and dehumanize the people they are serving. Soften their hearts, Mighty Lover

I saw an old friend there, today: Littl'un. He just got out of prison for a DUI, he told me. At first, I thought he was a little drunk, but as the conversation went on, he seemed sober enough. However, people who drink as much as he does seem to hold their own when intoxicated.

We caught up a little and near the end of the conversation, he complained and badmouthed some of the men who live at the shelter. I always listen, but I am often uncomfortable when men from the shelter speak poorly of one another.

At one point, Littl'un asked me if I had been at the shelter or had plans to start working or volunteering back there. I told him I hadn't been there and would like to go over there again, but I would be inconsistent. He responded with words he has uttered to me many times before: "Well, you got your own life."

He cannot know the pain those words cause me. God forbid my life ever excludes helping people. My "own life," as Littl'un puts it--my goals, my ideals, my pursuit of happiness, my searching for God and searching with God--is the reason I went to the shelter in the first place. It is the reason I go to the food ministry, the reason I get mad when the people at the church are belittled and dehumanized.

It is the reason I wrestle, the reason I write, the reason I seek God, the reason I seek with God.

God, bless that man for caring about me and wanting me to be "successful," even if that success means I do not help him or others. What a wonderful thing he wants for me. What care he has!

But God, please, please help me give away my "own life." Prompt me to offer it to others, lead me from the temptation to keep it or take it back once it is given. I'm at peace with my relationship to the shelter and the reasons I left. Thank you for giving me opportunities to continue relationships made there, although I hope many of those relationships will end, because those men will cease to need meals served to them, will cease to need an awkward friend like me.

I want to be like you.

Amen.