Last night, a guy on the street asked me for 35¢ as I was walking to my car. I hardly ever have change on me, so I gave him a dollar.
I hesitated before giving him the dollar. It wasn't so much because I wondered about whether it was moral or for the greater good, but rather because I thought he might want the change to make a phone call. What good is a bill when you need change for the pay phone?
I gave him the dollar as I wondered how much pay phones cost these days and where the closest one would be. I figure he had been collecting money throughout the day and only needed 35 more cents for whatever it was he wanted to purchase--food, drink, or otherwise. Or maybe he finds it is easier to get money when you ask for a small, specific amount.
He took the dollar and said, in valediction, "God bless you."
God bless me? If God is in the business of honoring the blessings we give, then that man should have blessed himself. I can't imagine he was blessed by my dollar. Regardless of his intents for the money--need or luxury--it wasn't the sort of generosity or aid to do him any true good. My "good deed" was neither God nor I blessing that man. I made a near-meaningless act and he returned it with a formulaic expression that encourages many people to continue "giving."
His blessing was likely more out of manners and decorum than any true desire. It was economic: I give him something and he gives me something in return: a blessing for a dollar. "God bless you" is a turn of phrase these days, but it gave me pause to think.
I believe in giving more than I believe in questioning the intentions of those who ask. It isn't my job to judge. But I always fear I might give to fight guilt and to diminish the sense of a greater responsibility. Or to create a façade of a holy ethic and a persona that I am Godly, Christ-ly, and Love-ly (others might prefer to use other terms here, Allah-like, Buddha-like, or a purveyor of great karma).
I gave a $1. That's 65¢ more than he asked for. That's not all I give. I give money to Compassion International to support a child through an organization that I don't support ideologically/theologically. I allow my employer to take a percentage of my paycheck for its benevolent fund. I recycle. I buy fairly traded products. I support local agriculture and businesses. Sometimes.
God bless me? Why? Because of an extra 65¢? Because I mute the voices of the oppressed by throwing money in their general direction when I could be giving them me?
I recently heard a well-known speaker say that if faith does not cost us something, then it is nothing. Only much later could I respond: if faith does not cost us everything, it is nothing. (Peter Rollins, How (Not) To Speak of God)
I disrespect myself, my faith, my political stances--everything I believe and am--as well as those around me when I only give money, buy organic, or shop at Whole Foods. An extra 65¢ is not enough.
God bless America, God bless me, and God bless us, every one.
